Personality Plus

With the recent birth of my niece, Evelynn, I have come to realize how much Lily has changed in the past six months. I know that I have noticed the little things as we moved along through her first months, but seeing how tiny Evelynn is and remembering how I could hold Lily easily with one arm really puts things in perspective.

Lily is sitting up quite well on her own now. She is so intent upon sitting under her own power that she graduated from the bouncy seat to an exersaucer. When I put her in it she gets this goofy grin on her face as she examines the toys over and over again. She rediscovers every time that hitting the duck picture makes it quack-and she is amazed every time it makes a noise. It is so entertaining and enthralling to see her discover (and rediscover) these things. The goofy grin is not limited to the exersaucer, though. She plasters that toothless smile on when I sit her on her blanket or when she rolls over on her tummy or anytime she sees her daddy or when she sees me first thing in the morning. I can't help but laugh, which spurs her smile on even more. When I take her to my parents' house, she grins at everyone in the room and everyone just grins back. She is the star of her own little show and we are happy to oblige!

She is getting to be quite the talker, too. She can babble with the best of them! I like having a duet partner in the car-I'll sing along to the radio and she will shriek and gab in the back seat right along with me. We have long involved conversations about everything from her books to her food to what our crazy dog is thinking when he treats the living room like a race track. Sometimes I can't wait for the formation of "real" words-but I really love this exploration of language that we get to experience together. Babble conversations really are the best because we can say anything we want and it is just pure delight.

A girl after Mommy's own heart

Need I say more???

Fear of falling

Lily has taken to spending vast amounts of time standing on her wobbly little legs gazing at the world. Granted, she is standing with my hands firmly around her waist most of the time. Sometimes she grips tightly to my fingers and balances on her own, wildly throwing her hips around in an attempt to see everything around her and stay firmly planted on her two little feet. I realized this morning as she stood on our ottoman staring down the potted plant on the shelves behind me that she has no fear of falling. She doesn't even know what it means to fear something like that, because her momma is holding on to her.

This came to me this week after I had a rather sleepless few nights due to no other reason than being a new mom and having a whole new perspective on life. As I stared at the shadowy blobs on the ceiling at 3 am, my brain wandered through all the events of the past six months. Having a baby is a lot to wrap your brain around! It is so exciting and terrifying to know that in her mind, mommy can fix anything just by being there. I can feed her, protect her, snuggle her, kiss on her neck and make her laugh. When I come into the room, whether I've been gone for two minutes or two hours, it is the highlight of the moment. I love that I can make her so happy by just showing up. It is scary, too, since I realize that in her world, her happiness will often hinge on my ability to meet her needs. Wow, I guess those commercials are right, having a baby really does change everything!

Growing Lily

Well, I started back to "work" yesterday after five months of pure mommy time. I will be working part-time teaching an after school art program...really it is perfect because I will only be gone for a few hours a couple of days a week. Yesterday, however, I was apart from Lily for nine hours-a new record-one I don't wish to repeat anytime soon. I must admit that having her back in my arms after that long apart is very sweet, indeed. The way she nuzzles her face into my neck and sort of coos is priceless.

I have found that I am more and more enamored with her everyday. Not surprising, really. But she has discovered her toes and wants to spend vast amounts of time everyday looking at them and grabbing them and putting them in her mouth. (Enjoy it now, my girl, you may not be able to do THAT your whole life!) Watching her study her feet or study her hands is engaging. I wonder what is going through her brain as she turns her hands this way and that and furrows her brow just like her mommy. I love watching her delight in the discovery of her toes everyday and how she sometimes giggles when she finally catches them again.

My parents and I took Lily to meet her great-Gram and great-great-Auntie last week. I have never seen those women so focused! They actually let coats drop to the ground in order to get to Lily quicker! They were so excited to see her and spend time watching her explore, laugh and play (and roll over and over and over!) For me, it was so wonderful to bring Lily to the place that was so much a part of my childhood. So many of my happy memories are attached to Chilhowee and I hope that Lily will get to build some there as well. I know that I want to bring her back as often as possible so that my Gram and Auntie can see her grow and change.

Speaking of growing and changing, Lily is getting much more independent with every passing day. She will wobble on her unsteady legs as I hold onto her and tries to keep her back rigid and tall when she sits on my lap. I know this is the first in a long line of traits to announce her separation and independence from mommy, and I am both proud and wistful at her growth. Now I understand that misty-eyed look my mom occasionally got over my childhood and adolescence...it seems that I see it more from her now than I can really remember growing up. Hopefully, it is because she sees a little bit of herself in me now that I am a mom, too. It is such a new experience to see myself in my mom and my daughter...it really shows how family traits can thread themselves through generations.

Happy New Year

Well, we've made it through the holiday season smoothly and happily. Christmas was wonderful with Lily. We actually had two Christmas celebrations with her this year, so we had double the fun. We went to my parents' house Christmas eve day for the whole family celebration complete with dressing up and the big meal and the melee of opening presents with eight adults and two children in the room. Lily wore a Christmas tutu that is absolutely precious-got to love those southern craft fair creations!

On Christmas morning, we had the traditional events that have endured through the years in my family. We opened stockings and then Lily's Santa presents (lots of books!) and then went through our family gifts. Most of this was captured on home video for posterity-transferring it to DVD is another story! Lily, of course, was not really sure what was going on, but she loves to have her mommy and daddy watching her, so she enjoyed being the center of our world yet again.

She has really taken to rolling over while she is on the floor. She will usually roll about one second after I take off her diaper or any other article of clothing. Babies really do love to go in the buff! Thankfully, she has not tried to roll while on her changing table yet. She is still enamored with the mobile that hangs over her changing table and loves to "talk" to the images dangling over her head.

New Year's was pretty uneventful due to the fact that she was asleep at least five hours before midnight rolled around...she didn't stir when the neighbors shot off fireworks at midnight, but I was glued to the monitor waiting to hear her wail. It was much more tense for me than for her! I'm very excited to see what this year will bring now that everything about my life has changed...

Milestones

Two milestones in one day...yes, I am biased about the brilliance of my daughter, but isn't every new mom? This morning, after weeks of teetering on her side with her face pressed into the blanket, Lily rolled over. I must mention, too, that she rolled over towards me-yeah! All the books say to put a favorite toy just out of reach to the side for babies to roll towards...Lily didn't need a toy, though, just mom.

Of course, in true baby fashion, as soon as she had rolled over and pulled her arm back from beneath her she started to cry. One of those "who put me face-down on this blanket when I was having a lovely time examining the ceiling fan" cries. Trying to explain to her that she did it to herself was not going to work, so I just picked her up for celebratory hugs instead.

This evening was milestone number two. To mark her fourth month birthday yesterday she got to go to the doctor and get a bunch of immunizations...not fun for ANYONE. Even the nurse remarked that this was the worst part of her job. I feel for her-I certainly wouldn't want to making babies cry as a major portion of my job description. Anyway, the doctor told us to go ahead and start Lily on rice cereal anytime. So, tonight's snack food was rice cereal for the first time. I must say, she ate like a champ. Of course, large portions of it ended up running down her chin, but she found the whole event to be quite entertaining-as did I.

The swing of things

The Christmas season is upon us in a big way and I am still trying to get into the swing of things. Thankfully, I have a vast majority of my Christmas shopping done via Lily's pictures. Most of our family members will be getting pics of the newest little one for Christmas, which saves a lot of time and money. However, I'm finding it rather challenging to put up Christmas decorations while holding a baby in one arm. (I think I'm developing some sort of baby-holdingitis in my left elbow!) I think that this is all the more challenging because I still don't feel like I have my house settled yet since our move. I still have wallpaper to remove, rooms to paint, boxes to move...argh.

On the upside of this-do you just want to eat this picture up?

A December 1st Miracle

OK-we are coming up on 25 minutes of uninterrupted naptime-in the MORNING! How is it that my husband can go in, put Lily in her crib, stay for a minute to calm her and walk out with no problem? I spend hours listening to her cry or going back and forth to her room to calm her when I try to get her to nap. I think that I will approach it this way: I did all the hard work training her to nap and Pete gets to initiate the first successful morning nap.

Now that she is sleeping (for the time being) I find it hard to get started on anything. I keep waiting for her to wake up and cry. Pete, however, has already settled into watching our recording of "Lost" while I make a long-delayed entry in my blog.

We are taking Lily for her first portrait today. I'm really looking forward to it and I hope that it goes well. It is one of those events that I don't have much control over...she could be happy and cute or crying and clingy. All I can do is get her dressed in her Christmas outfit and show up at the studio on time! It kind of feels like taking an exam in college...I can study all I want, show up on time prepared, and think happy thoughts. If the questions are something that I would never see coming, though, I'm sunk! Hopefully, I will have a cute picture to post soon...Keep your fingers crossed!

----9:19 pm...OK, the nap thing didn't work out as planned. Only 30 minutes of sleep in her bed and then another hour and a half in mommy and daddy's bed. On the other hand, the portraits worked out beautifully! It is hard to narrow down pictures when you think your child is the most precious thing that ever graced the planet!

Survivor

Well, we have almost made it through Lily's first major chest cold. Nothing pierces the heart like listening to your baby's raspy cough and being helpless to do much of anything. She was finally getting back to her smiling, babbling self for awhile today-but then it came time to go to bed and she was all slumpy again. I have been trying the whole "leave your baby in her crib to nap no matter what" plan and it really, REALLY stinks...especially now that she has a cold. I was in tears by the time I went to get her out of her crib yesterday. My poor husband was vexed enough by a crying baby-add to that a sobbing wife and he was just finished!

Thankfully, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and she is coughing less and less. I'm looking forward to tomorrow when she will hopefully wake up with bright eyes and a big smile. I haven't seen that in a couple of days and that was my whole reason for dragging myself out of bed at 6 am!

Isn't it nice to be adored?

I was out to lunch with my sister the other day and I brought Lily along. Lily was studying me as I ordered and snacked on appetizers with my sister. My sister has a three-year-old and one on the way, so she knows the ups and downs of motherhood well. Seeing Lily's gaze, she said "Isn't it nice to be adored?" It really is. I am so thankful for my little girl-so thankful that God gave me something so precious to take care of. I still look at her every day and marvel at the fact that God created her using me!

What is it about 2:05 am?

What is it about 2:05am that babies want to see so badly? If you can answer that, can you tell me if 2:47, 3:25, 3:55, 4:47 and 5:36 hold the same appeal? I love my daughter dearly and do want to spend as much time as possible with her, but not when she is just a shadowy spot in the middle of her crib in the middle of the night.

I remember as a young girl going to my first sleepovers. We always found it such an exciting challenge to stay up all night. It was great until the pain of sleep deprivation hit you like a semi truck the next day. The nice part was that we could blissfully sleep through much of the next day to make up for it. In college, all-nighters were more of a necessity than a joy. When midterms or finals were piling up, it seemed there was no choice but to stay up all night cramming or writing papers. No blissful sleeping the next day there, though. We would have to sleepily slog through a three hour final AND try to be clever enough to answer the questions correctly! Maybe Lily is training for her first sleepovers or college cram sessions a bit early!

Now if I could just get her to take daytime naps longer than 20 minutes...

Mom and Lily

Mom and Lily

I started this blog for several reasons: I was inspired by my friend, Amanda, and her blog; my whole world has been upended by the arrival of my daughter and our subsequent move to Tennessee; and I can type a lot faster than I can write most days. It seems that blogs can be made up of little snippets of thought and make perfect sense. On the other hand, the pregnancy journal I was keeping for my daughter, Lily, seems to ramble and shift with every turn of the page. Now my biggest obstacle seems to be getting photos in the right place on the site and figuring out how to do that using the photo program already installed on my computer.

This next chapter of my life was a huge leap of faith. My husband and I moved to Tennesse seven weeks after our daughter was born. We used to live in Ventura, California, but moved to Tennessee so that we could provide a bit better for Lily. My parents and my siblings are all within 20 minutes of our new home, which was a big incentive for me as well.

My daughter was born in August (two weeks earlier than expected) and she changed my life in ways that I could've never imagined. I love being a mom. If only this was a job with a salary, my life would be cake. I love watching her sleep, listening to her babble in her three-month-old language, kick her arms and legs like a rock star, looking into her big blue eyes and wondering what she thinks when she looks back at me. Even the lack of sleep is not as painful as it could be-as long as I get that huge smile from her when I go to get her out of her crib in the morning.

But, speaking of lack of sleep, I have a feeling that many of my early blog entries will be written in the early hours of the morning or late in the evening when Lily is sleeping. We are currently working on learning how to nap during the daytime. It is almost more exhausting for me to teach her how to nap than staying up would be for her! I'm learning to let her cry for a bit before going to soothe her...I'm not very good at it yet, but I'm working on it!