My darling Lily turned two today. I have had so many mixed emotions today that right now my stomach feels as if I just spent too much time on a roller coaster.
I'm so stunned by the fact that two years has passed since I met my little girl for the first time. I can so clearly remember holding her in my arms for the first time that I still have trouble reconciling that to the whole person that is developing now. There are so many things I wish I could go back and experience again, yet I am so excited for what the next years will hold.
I'm so elated to be here this year. I was adamant about birthday candles and wrapping presents in layers of paper since I missed all of that last year. Her "big" party isn't until next week, so I get to prolong the celebration even more. My heart caught in my throat so many times today when I once again realized how close I came to not seeing this birthday or any of the ones to come. As much as I would like to hope this is not a thought that will cross my mind every birthday, I think it is really unavoidable. So, I will just be grateful and excited each time.
And I am so enraptured with Lily. She is so amazing. I think back to a year ago when she was tottering on unsteady feet for the first time on the patio of the hospital while I watched from my wheelchair. Now, she runs, hops and dances all over the place all the time. Her earnest expressions are now matched with confident words and emotion. She has moved from her first "dane-koo" to long monologues about everything around her. She still catches me off guard when she brings up a topic that hasn't been mentioned in days or weeks. I scramble to remember the event or conversation while she moves smoothly along her lines of thought. When we say prayers at night, she will pause between names of people we are asking blessing for with a very sincere "and...ummmm...Auntie? and...ummmm...Gram?" until she goes through every name she knows at least twice. But still, nothing beats a "love you, momma" or "hold you, momma" and I don't think anything ever really will.
Her world is expanding around her and she grows with it every day. It is so enthralling for me to watch her play. Today she got a tea set-which prompted her to make about 43 cups of tea for Mommy, Daddy and Grandy; a dolly stroller-which she pushed around the house for ages with dolly strapped snugly in her seat; a doctor's kit-which will hopefully help her through tomorrow's two-year check up (hah!); and a doll house with a working doorbell and phone, etc-which she played with in all seriousness, moving the furniture around and letting the baby play in the swimming "cool." 
Of course, I can't forget the princess tent her auntie, uncle and cousins gave her. When I asked her today how old she was, she looked at me with her serious face and said "Leelee a princess!"
I'm so stunned by the fact that two years has passed since I met my little girl for the first time. I can so clearly remember holding her in my arms for the first time that I still have trouble reconciling that to the whole person that is developing now. There are so many things I wish I could go back and experience again, yet I am so excited for what the next years will hold.
I'm so elated to be here this year. I was adamant about birthday candles and wrapping presents in layers of paper since I missed all of that last year. Her "big" party isn't until next week, so I get to prolong the celebration even more. My heart caught in my throat so many times today when I once again realized how close I came to not seeing this birthday or any of the ones to come. As much as I would like to hope this is not a thought that will cross my mind every birthday, I think it is really unavoidable. So, I will just be grateful and excited each time.
And I am so enraptured with Lily. She is so amazing. I think back to a year ago when she was tottering on unsteady feet for the first time on the patio of the hospital while I watched from my wheelchair. Now, she runs, hops and dances all over the place all the time. Her earnest expressions are now matched with confident words and emotion. She has moved from her first "dane-koo" to long monologues about everything around her. She still catches me off guard when she brings up a topic that hasn't been mentioned in days or weeks. I scramble to remember the event or conversation while she moves smoothly along her lines of thought. When we say prayers at night, she will pause between names of people we are asking blessing for with a very sincere "and...ummmm...Auntie? and...ummmm...Gram?" until she goes through every name she knows at least twice. But still, nothing beats a "love you, momma" or "hold you, momma" and I don't think anything ever really will.
Her world is expanding around her and she grows with it every day. It is so enthralling for me to watch her play. Today she got a tea set-which prompted her to make about 43 cups of tea for Mommy, Daddy and Grandy; a dolly stroller-which she pushed around the house for ages with dolly strapped snugly in her seat; a doctor's kit-which will hopefully help her through tomorrow's two-year check up (hah!); and a doll house with a working doorbell and phone, etc-which she played with in all seriousness, moving the furniture around and letting the baby play in the swimming "cool." 
Of course, I can't forget the princess tent her auntie, uncle and cousins gave her. When I asked her today how old she was, she looked at me with her serious face and said "Leelee a princess!" 
Yes, my baby girl, you are.
