A girl after Mommy's own heart

Need I say more???

Fear of falling

Lily has taken to spending vast amounts of time standing on her wobbly little legs gazing at the world. Granted, she is standing with my hands firmly around her waist most of the time. Sometimes she grips tightly to my fingers and balances on her own, wildly throwing her hips around in an attempt to see everything around her and stay firmly planted on her two little feet. I realized this morning as she stood on our ottoman staring down the potted plant on the shelves behind me that she has no fear of falling. She doesn't even know what it means to fear something like that, because her momma is holding on to her.

This came to me this week after I had a rather sleepless few nights due to no other reason than being a new mom and having a whole new perspective on life. As I stared at the shadowy blobs on the ceiling at 3 am, my brain wandered through all the events of the past six months. Having a baby is a lot to wrap your brain around! It is so exciting and terrifying to know that in her mind, mommy can fix anything just by being there. I can feed her, protect her, snuggle her, kiss on her neck and make her laugh. When I come into the room, whether I've been gone for two minutes or two hours, it is the highlight of the moment. I love that I can make her so happy by just showing up. It is scary, too, since I realize that in her world, her happiness will often hinge on my ability to meet her needs. Wow, I guess those commercials are right, having a baby really does change everything!

Growing Lily

Well, I started back to "work" yesterday after five months of pure mommy time. I will be working part-time teaching an after school art program...really it is perfect because I will only be gone for a few hours a couple of days a week. Yesterday, however, I was apart from Lily for nine hours-a new record-one I don't wish to repeat anytime soon. I must admit that having her back in my arms after that long apart is very sweet, indeed. The way she nuzzles her face into my neck and sort of coos is priceless.

I have found that I am more and more enamored with her everyday. Not surprising, really. But she has discovered her toes and wants to spend vast amounts of time everyday looking at them and grabbing them and putting them in her mouth. (Enjoy it now, my girl, you may not be able to do THAT your whole life!) Watching her study her feet or study her hands is engaging. I wonder what is going through her brain as she turns her hands this way and that and furrows her brow just like her mommy. I love watching her delight in the discovery of her toes everyday and how she sometimes giggles when she finally catches them again.

My parents and I took Lily to meet her great-Gram and great-great-Auntie last week. I have never seen those women so focused! They actually let coats drop to the ground in order to get to Lily quicker! They were so excited to see her and spend time watching her explore, laugh and play (and roll over and over and over!) For me, it was so wonderful to bring Lily to the place that was so much a part of my childhood. So many of my happy memories are attached to Chilhowee and I hope that Lily will get to build some there as well. I know that I want to bring her back as often as possible so that my Gram and Auntie can see her grow and change.

Speaking of growing and changing, Lily is getting much more independent with every passing day. She will wobble on her unsteady legs as I hold onto her and tries to keep her back rigid and tall when she sits on my lap. I know this is the first in a long line of traits to announce her separation and independence from mommy, and I am both proud and wistful at her growth. Now I understand that misty-eyed look my mom occasionally got over my childhood and adolescence...it seems that I see it more from her now than I can really remember growing up. Hopefully, it is because she sees a little bit of herself in me now that I am a mom, too. It is such a new experience to see myself in my mom and my daughter...it really shows how family traits can thread themselves through generations.

Happy New Year

Well, we've made it through the holiday season smoothly and happily. Christmas was wonderful with Lily. We actually had two Christmas celebrations with her this year, so we had double the fun. We went to my parents' house Christmas eve day for the whole family celebration complete with dressing up and the big meal and the melee of opening presents with eight adults and two children in the room. Lily wore a Christmas tutu that is absolutely precious-got to love those southern craft fair creations!

On Christmas morning, we had the traditional events that have endured through the years in my family. We opened stockings and then Lily's Santa presents (lots of books!) and then went through our family gifts. Most of this was captured on home video for posterity-transferring it to DVD is another story! Lily, of course, was not really sure what was going on, but she loves to have her mommy and daddy watching her, so she enjoyed being the center of our world yet again.

She has really taken to rolling over while she is on the floor. She will usually roll about one second after I take off her diaper or any other article of clothing. Babies really do love to go in the buff! Thankfully, she has not tried to roll while on her changing table yet. She is still enamored with the mobile that hangs over her changing table and loves to "talk" to the images dangling over her head.

New Year's was pretty uneventful due to the fact that she was asleep at least five hours before midnight rolled around...she didn't stir when the neighbors shot off fireworks at midnight, but I was glued to the monitor waiting to hear her wail. It was much more tense for me than for her! I'm very excited to see what this year will bring now that everything about my life has changed...